CharacterMeasures Blog

Welcome to The Character Coach blog. Once a week (or more or less) we will be blogging about a character issue on display in recent news stories. The issue will usually involve a high school, college or professional athlete or coach. We will be seeking positive stories as often as possible but, we will write about the tough stories too. Occasionally, we may also feature one of our partners whose content we feel would be of interest to our readers.

 

The Character Coach blog - Blog #0004 - August 6, 2018

 

Lying. We all do it unfortunately. However, some of us catch ourselves and ‘fess up and apologize and make restitution.

Sadly, others of us, feel we can get away with it and float along as long as possible until we are cornered and then there are a variety of potential responses. The best we can do in this situation is like what is described above.

The other options are less desirable. Some of us get angry and defensive, sparking an ugly confrontation. Some pile on more lies in an attempt to cover up the initial lie. Some of us try to further confuse the issue by offering up an incredibly lame excuse for our lie(s) like this one from Urban Meyer, The Ohio State University head football coach. This is part of his statement released Friday, August 3, 2018 in response to his having outright lied to the media at the Big 10 Media Day in Chicago on July 24, 2018:

The power of what I say and how I say it, especially regarding sensitive and serious domestic issues, has never been more evident than now. My words, whether in a reply to a reporter's question or in addressing a personnel issue, must be clear, compassionate, and most of all, completely accurate. Unfortunately, at Big Ten Media Days on July 24th, I failed on many of these fronts. My intention was not to say anything inaccurate or misleading. However, I was not adequately prepared to discuss these sensitive personnel issues with the media, and I apologize for the way I handled those questions.

I understand there are more questions to be answered and I look forward to doing just that with the independent investigators retained by the University and I will cooperate fully with them. At the appropriate time, I will also address the questions and speculation in a public forum. But for now, out of respect for the ongoing inquiry, I will refrain at this time.

Please know that the truth is the ultimate power and I am confident that I took appropriate action. As I stated above, I deeply regret if I have failed in my words. As the son of an amazing woman and the husband to another and, as the father of two incredible young women, those who know me best know the admiration and respect I have for all women. Our core values are just that-values that do not ever waver.

 

This author’s biggest problem is with the bolded sentence in the paragraph above. Whenever someone issues an apology with the word ‘if’ in it, it is no apology at all. The person committing the offense saw nothing wrong with what they said or did and are merely casting the blame onto others who took offense. They are not taking ownership of the offending act or words and that is something for which they also need to apologize and one normally never comes.


Truth is difficult, particularly in sensitive situations. However, the truth is ALWAYS the best policy, not matter what. Lying always hurts - it hurts the person telling the lie and those close to that person; in this case it hurt the victim of the crime that was committed by the person that was fired from his job for committing domestic violence crimes against his wife. Coach Meyer should have been the stand-up man he pretends to be with his comment about respecting women and core values. If his core values were so highly valued he would have admitted to the press on July 24 that he was aware of the crimes committed against the wife of his former wide receivers coach instead of denying he had any knowledge of them.

Urban Meyer should be relieved of his duties that put him in charge of having significant influence over 105 young men and who knows how many more coaches. He lied to the whole country on camera and he knew he was lying even as he spoke the words. That is absolutely unacceptable from a man in his position.